I woke up
the other day, and had a sort of epiphany. I have been in the biggest funk for
the last few months, due to a few personal things just piling up. I woke up
with the hope that the day would bring a new wave of happiness and joy into my
life. Well, it did.
As many
people in the world, I have my ups and downs. I’ve overcome a lot in the last
year. I had to handle transitioning from a peaceful workplace to what can be
described as a complete and utter disaster zone. I overcame verbal and mental
abuse from a boss who I swore was going to fire me if I didn’t quit first. I
feel as though the stress and frustration from this job kind of boiled over
into my personal life, and is the reason a lot of things kind of went by the
wayside.. but I digress.
I
overcame the fear of working out and sweating my (excuse my language) ass off.
I overcame a huge weight barrier, and in the process, found my confidence that
had dwindled significantly over the last year or so. I found joy in going to
the gym, and looked forward to it. I do need to get back there, while I am
still losing weight, but for the first time in my life, I feel GREAT .. and
sexy ;)
I finally
found myself again. I have officially adopted the motto “don’t stress over
anything that is out of your control.” I was holding so much so close to my
chest, it started to literally weigh me down. I was worrying about EVERYTHING,
and losing a lot of sleep over it. Well, I’ve put all that behind me and moved forward
with my life!
I also
think I finally forgave myself for the mess a few months ago. Sure, it sucks
this time of year, not being with the one person I always thought I would. It
hurts to be without him, but everything happens for a reason. I know that
somewhere down the road, this will be just an exit in the rear view, and a
learning experience to boot! I find myself thankful for everything that has
happened in my life, instead of dwelling on what I could have done better or
what should have been done or what I should have said to fix it. Sometimes, I
just cant fix everything, as much as I want to. I need to let things be the way
they are, and work themselves out J
I find I am
more upbeat, more positive, and definitely more smiley these days. It could
just be a phase, but I am thoroughly enjoying not being tired and drained all
the time! I love that I am excited, laughing (haven’t had a good laugh in a few
months..), and smiling so big it’s almost too much! This change was definitely
needed, and I wish it came sooner. But, like I’ve said.. everything happens for
a reason J
